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Teresa Giudice Gifts Vibrator to Jackie Goldschneider: You Know Where to Stick It!

Last week’s The Real Housewives of New Jersey had GorgaGate front and center.

On this week, it looks like Teresa and Jackie are trying to make amends … almost.

Teresa has the closest thing to an olive branch to extend.

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It just so happens to be a vibrator. Oh, and Tre tells her exactly where she can stick it.

In this sneak peek of this week’s new RHONJ, the ladies — and some husbands — are gathered outside.

As Teresa Giudice arrives, she comes bearing gifts.

She begins to pass out white gift bags that are covered in shiny silver dots.

“Here take one,” Teresa says encouragingly to her castmates.

“Versace at the shore?” Margaret Josephs asks.

Mostly, everyone — who is not Jackie — responds to Teresa with a chorus of “thank you.”

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“And this is for you,” Teresa announced, locking her gaze upon Jackie.

She handed her foe the bag during this dramatic moment.

And this was about the time that everyone discovered exactly what Teresa was handing out.

There are some dildos that are a little too realistic to air on basic cable television.

These are not those, and have proportions more akin to half-melted bowling pins.

That’s because they are high-end vibrators. Astonishingly high-end, Teresa reveals.

“It’s 24 carat gold,” Teresa announces. “This is called ‘The King.'”

A call from the crowd declares with astonishment: “It’s a vibrator!”

“No, you are NOT giving us dildos!” says another voice.

Margaret declares encouragingly: “This matches my eyes, I love it.”

Meanwhile, we are treated to the stunned and amused looks of the various husbands.

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“What the hell are you doing with this thing?” Joe asks, as entertained as anyone.

Margaret turns hers on quickly, and decides to test it out by pressing it against Melissa’s breast.

Melissa lets out a shriek and moves away, clearly very sensitive where it counts.

When Margaret tries it on Dolores Catania, Dolores shrugs off the effects.

Skin sensitivity is a real thing, we should note.

The common saying for vibrators is that they should be tested on one’s nose before being used on, say, a clitoris.

Everybody’s different, but if it’s not painful or overwhelming on your nose, conventional wisdom says that it’s okay to test elsewhere.

Like anyone who just got a new toy, a number of Housewives turned them on.

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Some eventually screamed for Teresa to “shut it off,” unfamiliar with how to do so on their own.

Many vibrators have various settings to cycle through before “off” can be attained.

“It’s kinda big, Jackie,” Teresa then begins.

She taunts: “I don’t know if it’s gonna fit up your ass but maybe you should try it.”

At this point, Jackie rolls her eyes and asks Tre to “just stop.”

“You said to her, take the olive branch and you can stick it up her ass,” Teresa recalls.

She explains: “I gave you something to stick up your ass.”

There’s a certain mode of thinking that says that if you have to explain your joke, it’s not really funny.

Teresa giudice gifts vibrator to jackie goldschneider you know w

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