Kourtney Kardashian turned 40 last April. She threw herself a big bash with her friends, her exes and a cake featuring her favorite pastime, showing her derriere. She’s just launched her lifestyle brand, Poosh. She’s in great shape, thanks to her keto diet. All in all, a great way to start off this next decade. But, as we learned from the latest KUWTK Sneak Peak, this isn’t the case. Kourtney tells sister Khloe that 40 has made her anxious about where she is in life and where she’s going.
“I do think that turning 40, like it almost makes you analyze like where you’re at in your life,” Kourtney told Khloé, 35. “It’s just giving me anxiety.”
When Khloé asked what Kourtney was specifically thinking about, the mother of three — she shares sons Mason, 9, and Reign, 4, and daughter Penelope, 7, with ex Scott Disick — admitted that she wished she had more time.
“Now that I’m doing Poosh, I just always wish I had more time,” Kourtney said, noting her lifestyle website, as she began to tear up. “I feel like I want to cry,” she said.
When Khloé asked “Why?” Kourtney admitted, “it gives me anxiety.”
Kourtney tearfully explained that she doesn’t “know why because then I’m like I have so much and I should just be so happy.”
“But you’re not happy?” Khloé inquired.
“I mean, I am,” an emotional Kourtney replied. “But then sometimes I’m just like it makes you really like analyze just like where you’re at and then I’m like sometimes, ‘What am I doing?’ “
As Kourtney wiped away tears, Khloé asked, “What are you doing wrong?”
While Kourtney believed she was doing “nothing” wrong, and that she was “just living life,” she did admit: “but then sometimes I’m like I’ll just do stupid s— to like distract from really thinking about stuff that is maybe more important. I don’t know. But then half of me is like, ‘Live your life, have fun.’ “
Attempting to comfort her older sister, Khloé shared, “But if that makes you happy, you know that’s completely okay for your life. What if you enjoy the life that you have right now? If you’re happy, that’s all that should matter for any of us. But I really don’t think your soul is happy. I think you feel incomplete somewhere that you’re scared.”
You can watch the clip here. The backdrop is Kourtney’s beautiful backyard with kids happily playing in the pool. Kourtney spends as much time trying to keep her makeup from running as she does expressing where her head is. But that’s the only snark I will throw at her over this because I actually feel a little bad for her. Like Jada Pinkett Smith said recently, a lot of folks think if you have money, pretty real estate and an extensive wardrobe, you should be happy. As if that’s all thatmakes up happiness. But material trappings don’t equate to peace of mind. I only know the Kardashians through clips. It could very well be that Kourtney is a spoiled brat who doesn’t want to work. But I remember when she and Kim had their big blowup (although I suppose any conflict aired on KUWTK should be put in quotes) about Kourtney not working as hard as the other sisters. The line being pushed was that Kourtney is lazy, but I got a whiff of despondency to her un-involvement. Maybe I’m just feeling generous today, but I now see her her Paper Magazine interview in different context. In that article, she said she never expected KUWTK to go anywhere. I wonder, if she went back in time, if she’d choose to be involved with it. And maybe Poosh is more about filling a hole in her and not a hole in the oversaturated lifestyle market. Or maybe she wants to walk away but doesn’t know who she would be if she did, and considers herself too old now to find out.
Or, who knows, maybe this is all just another “life crisis” conceived in the KUWTK writers room.
View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Kourtney Kardashian (@kourtneykardash) on
Photo credit: WENN Photos and Instagram